Women's Dictionary:

Yes=No

No=Yes

Maybe=No

I'm sorry=You'll be sorry

We need=I want

It's your decision=The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want=You will pay for this later

We need to talk=I need to complain

Sure...go ahead=I don't want you to

I'm not upset=Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're...so manly=You need a shave and you sweat a lot

You're certainly attentive tonight=Is sex all you ever think about?

Be romantic, turn out the lights= I have flabby thighs

This kitchen is so inconvenient= I want a new house

I want new curtains=... and carpeting and furniture and wallpaper...

Hang the picture there=NO, I mean hang it threre!

I heard a noise=I noticed you were almost asleep

Do you love me?=I'm going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me?=I did something today you're really not going to like

I'll be ready in a minute=Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

Is my butt fat?=Tell me I'm beautiful

You have to learn to communicate=Just agree with me

I'm not yelling=Yes I am yelling because I think this is important

Men's Dictionary:

I'm hungry=I'm hungry

I'm sleepy=I'm sleepy

I'm tired=I'm tired

Do you want to go to a movie?=I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I take you out to dinner=I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I call you sometime=I'd eventually like to have sex with you

May I have this dance?=I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Nice dress!=Nice tits!

You look tense, let me give you a massage=I want to fondle you

What's wrong?=I guess sex tonight is out of the question

I'm bored=Do you want to have sex?

I love you=Let's have sex now

I love you, too=Okay,I said it...We'd better have sex now!

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair=Okay, I said it... We'd better have sex now!

Let's talk=I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me

Will you marry me?=I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys

(While shopping): I like that one better=Pick any fucking dress and let's go home and have sex!

I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together=I am a closeted homesexual

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